Narrative therapy involves the telling and re-telling of the stories that make up our current lives. It looks at people from a strength perspective recognizing that people have an innate ability within themselves to manage and cope even in extremely difficult times. It also comes from a framework where people are the experts in their own lives.
Stories help us to organize our thoughts, find meaning and purpose, define who we are and what roles we play, and inform our identities. Therefore, our stories (or personal narrative) can have a significant impact on both our emotions and our behaviours. What we tell ourselves will impact what we do along with what we believe. A simple example of this is the psychological phenomenon of self-fulfilling prophecy. If I think I will never be able to do something, research shows that I absolutely won’t be able to. This phenomenon reminds us of the children’s book The Little Engine That Could (remember the “I think I can, I think I can”).
For example, if the stories I tell myself about who I am present me as unlikable and socially awkward, then when I am in a social setting I will be less likely to speak to others, I will be more likely to avoid eye contact, and I will be less likely to initiate any interaction.
These behaviours will then reinforce my belief when I see other people being approached by strangers, but no one is approaching me. Narrative therapy looks for moments and events when this same person has felt comfortable in a social setting (the glimmers or the exceptions) or will examine relationships in which the person feels “liked” or “accepted”. Questions will be used to help explore the definition of “likable” and how this would translate into actions. Through dialogue with the therapist, a new story will start to be co-created in which the person sees themselves as liked despite feeling socially awkward in some situations. There may be a new narrative around picking social situations that are more fitting for the person (i.e. small gatherings focused on a shared interest, more intimate gatherings with close friends) as opposed to trying to “fit in” to things that aren’t tailored to their strengths. The social awkwardness becomes more about the situation rather than about the person.
As shown in this example, narrative therapy helps people to examine and reframe their current stories looking for glimmers of hope and positive examples that they can then draw on to find solutions for current problems. A narrative approach externalizes problems and disorders so that it becomes only a part of an individual rather than their entire being. By doing this, it often helps people to find their inner strength and resilience, decreases shame, and enables them to start the healing process.